i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
