i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize