His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize