do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And then my night got REAL pukey
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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