Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
how does that bad decision feel?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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