it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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