Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude i'm inner monologue high
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
