i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
