Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
