he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i think i just lost a toe
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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