my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
