my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
