at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this just has baby written all over it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
