Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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