at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
