My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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