my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
