My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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