OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize