How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
