508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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