and you said cock pushups were impossible
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
