remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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