I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
