When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize