Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
