if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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