The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
