Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize