so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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