then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
