considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Of course I have a pirate flag
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
