Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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