you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
