i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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