This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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