I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
