DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
