You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your penis caused this!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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