He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
