I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize