I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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