a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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