I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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