why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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