8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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