i think my mom watched the whole time
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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