a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize