Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
