Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
