Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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