I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
