You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
