D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize