omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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