wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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