and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
