I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
