I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
