: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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