He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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