I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
