I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
