Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
