Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize