it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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