Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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