I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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