remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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