Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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