i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
