My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
