wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize