there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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