Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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