I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
