He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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