I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
